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September 25, 2010 / archivalerie

Even Vampires Need Archivists

So, I finally caught up on this season of True Blood. Slight spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched it yet. I found it to be a bit uneven, but then again, so were the first two seasons. Ultimately though, I had a good time watching everyone get crazier, especially Russell Edgington and Franklin Mott. Now that is how you do a creepy obsessive vampire boyfriend/stalker. Also, like almost everybody else with a pulse that watches the show, I am completely over “Beell and Sookeh.” More Eric, now. Please? Possibly shirtless and/or naked? Alan Ball, make it so.

After talking about it with my roommate, I randomly got to thinking about the “big betrayal” that got Bill “Dorothy-Galed” out of Sookie’s house. It wasn’t bad enough that he’s more or less addicted to her like she’s made of crack or that he was a creepy stalker, but he was a creepy stalker with documentation.

Image courtesy of:

Any archivist should know what the first thing is (and that the second has no place in an archive outside of an acid-free photocopy or digital scan). Img courtesy of:

Really, Bill? I know you’re an old-fashioned fellow, but if you’re doing a professional job and not making a scrapbook, don’t use newspaper clippings. Granted, I have seen far too many newspaper clippings in an archive than I care to think about, but we’re in a digital age! You could have easily stored this information on an encrypted flash drive. Also, is a newspaper clipping about Sookie winning the spelling bee really of evidential value? Does it prove that she can read minds? I know someone must have thought “Well, let’s face it, she’s dumb as a box of rocks so reading the minds of the spelling bee judges is the only way she could have won.” This way, even Franklin and his super-fast one-handed typing skills couldn’t crack it open. Also, you could go on with your lie of a relationship and brood and angst about it because I know you’re totally into that kind of thing.

Waaaah, I get to live forever and bang a hot waitress. Oh wait.

Move on. Crying won't get her back. Img courtesy of:

It’s enough to give an archivist a headache. I mean, if anyone out there needs the service of a professional who arranges and describes items of enduring value,  it would be those who live for freaking ever. I mean, Russell was obviously a packrat, so much so, it brought about his comeuppance. He could seriously have used someone to deaccession some materials, considering Talbot definitely would not have considering his reaction to the tapestry getting burned. At any rate, despite his foray into amateur genealogy, I highly doubt Bill consulted an archivist. Usually, archives are only open during daylight hours (although I could easily imagine the kind of endowments we could get if rich vampires actually existed, allowing us to have night hours). Then again, he could have easily done an email consultation. Yes, archives are on the internet now. I mean, I’m an archvillain/archivist-in-training and I blog. Isn’t it fabulous?

Anyway, I just wanted to get these brief thoughts out because that whole dossier thing left a bad taste in my mouth. As a palate-cleanser, I leave those so inclined with this:

Sit. Stay. VERY good boy.

I <3 Alcide, even though I prefer my werewolves to actually be hairy. A waxed chest seems a bit counterintuitive. Img courtesy of:

Also, I totally want this as a ringtone:



Leave a Comment
  1. Emily Pogo / Sep 28 2010 5:09 am

    Oh my, yes. Alcide is delicious, but I wasn’t expecting the waxed look either. :-/ I’ve been vaguely annoyed at this entire season, but probably because I read all the books and am not thrilled with all of how they adapted it. Yet I still watch it. heh.

    Now that you bring it up, Bill’s “file” on Sookie was so contrived– of COURSE he should be using a computer to record all of this. Yikes.

    And yes, that would be an awesome ringtone. lol.


  1. Even Hands of the King Need Archivists « archiValerie: Archivist and Arch-villain in Training

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